Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Mayor Dennis Kneier of San Marino is in Deep Doo Doo

The really big news today is not Professor Dave Brat’s primary defeat of House Majority Leader Eric Cantor. Nor is it the Los Angeles Superior Court Judge ruling unconstitutional under California’s Constitution the state statutes that protect teachers at the expense of educating students. Nope! San Marino Mayor Dennis Kneier has gone viral flicking (in his words) a bag of dog manure onto a constituent’s lawn. Congressman Cantor may have partially lost because his office stopped delivering constituent services. Mayor Kneier personally delivered a bag of crap to constituent Phillip Lao. Mayor Kneier is not a typical politician. They simply speak into a mike. Not Mayor Kneier! He wanted the message hand delivered. Politicians are known for shoveling out manure by the barrel full. Mayor Kneier has carried it to a new first, or new low, by personally delivering a doggie bag of dog excrement to a citizen. The Mayor and his wife, Liz, were walking home Saturday night from Lacy Park when he claimed to have found a bag on the street. He could have stepped in it, but instead he picked it up, discovered the excrement, and then claimed to have flicked it. He should have flicked his Bic. The tape tells a different story. Mayor Kneier is walking with the corpus delecti in his hand when Liz points to Lao’s lawn. Dennis, acting like a lapdog to his wife, dutifully tosses the evidence to that spot. Dennis, like many urban dog owners, either did not see, or ignored, the big sign “NO POOP ZONE.” Citizen Lao was exercising his First Amendment Freedom of Speech in a compelling social issue for San Marino - should Lacy Park be a dog free zone? The Mayor also did not see Mr. Lao’s video surveillance system. Mayor Kneier trespassed into the NO POOP ZONE. He was caught on tape. The Mayor's defense: Who do you believe? What you saw on the video with your own eyes, or what I say? The feces tossing mayor is big news in San Marino. San Marino is a city of slightly over 13,000 residents, rich residents. Forbes magazine reported in 2010 that the median sales price for a single family residence in San Marino was $1,987,5000. Only single family houses are allowed in San Marino – no apartments, condos or townhouses, not to mention the unmentionable low income housing. San Marino also lacks some of the basic amenities of life in Southern California – donut shops, fast food restaurants, and drive throughs. Residents who seek these amenities must slum into neighboring Pasadena. San Marino’s first mayor was George S. Patton, Sr., the father of the famous World War II general. General Patton was known for sometimes stepping in it. San Marino has the official residence of the President of the University of Southern California. USC is in South Central LA, but the President is where the rich donors are. Lacy Park is a 30 acre gem in the city. The hoi polloi, i.e. non-residents, are excluded by charging them a fee to enter the park. Mr. Lao opposes a dog park in Lacy Park He doesn’t have a dog. Mayor Kneier favors the dog park, but he too has no dog. President Clinton would say he has no dog in this fight. Mr. Lao is a law abiding citizen. He phoned the police. San Marino lacks crime. The proverbial crap hit the fan. The S.M.P.D. promptly responded with three patrol cars and five officers. We do not know how they presume to preserve or CSI the evidence. How would you like to sit on the jury when the bailiff dumps the load of dog manure in the jury deliberations room? The victim whose NO POOP ZONE was violated, turned the video over to San Marino’s Finest, who are investigating eventhough Mr. Lao did not file charges. The Mayor has not yet been booked, fingerprinted, or released on bail. The Mayor has come clean and apologized, but his heartfelt apology was short of promising to clean up the mess. The video has made the world news. Mayor Kneier made the 6 O'clock news in Los Angeles. His 15 minutes of fame has earned him the title of "The Dogs--t Mayor of Aan Marino." UPDATE: June 16, 2014 The San Marino Police Department issued the Mayor a ticket for littering. The possible fine is up to $1,000. Citizens of San Marino lambasted the Mayor at Wednesday's City Council meeting. The Mayor "smeared" the image of San Marino. They want his resignation for besmirching the city. Update: June 17, 2014 The Mayor resigned today because of "a lapse of judgment," but will remain on the City Council.

No comments: