Thursday, December 6, 2012

Guns Kill, But So Do ?????

Guns kill, as Bob Costas reminded us in reading a columnist’s anti-gun diatribe during halftime of the Kansas City Chiefs football Game Sunday.

Therefore we should ban guns.

Knifes kill.

Therefore we should ban knifes.

Swords kill.  A man walked into an Irvine Albertsons in 2003 and killed two employees with a Samurai sword before a police officer shot the attacker to death.

Let’s therefore ban swords, but remember guns also kill to save lives.

Bows and arrows kill. An assailant with a crossbow killed a teacher and a student at Casper Community College last week before killing himself.

Therefore we should ban bows and arrows.

Baseball bats kill.

Baseballs kill.

Therefore we should ban baseball.

People drown.

Therefore we should ban water.

Players die in football.

Therefore we should ban football.

Hockey pucks kill people.

Therefore we should ban Canada.

Cars kill.

Therefore we should ban cars.

Trains can be especially deadly.

Therefore, let’s ban trains – all trains, commuter trains, freight trains, passenger trains, toy trains.

Subways kill. Naaen Davis pushed Ki-Suck Han to her death last Monday before an onrushing New York City subway train.

Busses kill

Therefore we should ban busses.

Poisons kill. All chemicals can become deadly in excess.

Therefore, we should ban all chemicals.

Caffeine kills.

Let's live without caffeine.

Carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide kill.

Let’s kill carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide, especially carbon dioxide as we exhale it.

Electricity kills.

Therefore, let’s kill the juice.

Playground equipment kills children.

Therefore, let’s ban children from playing.

Ropes as nooses kill people.

Therefore we should ban ropes.

Airplanes kill from the air.

Therefore we should ban airplanes and the sky.

Boats and ships kill.

Therefore let’s ban boats and ships, especially ferry boats.

Police kill.

Therefore we need to ban the police.

Gangbangers kill.

Let’s ban gangs.

Fires kill.

Therefore we need to put out all fires.

Sex may be deadly.

Therefore we need to ban all sex.

Sticks can kill.

Therefore we need to cut down and burn all trees and foliage, and then kill the fires.

Stones can kill, going back to Biblical days.

Therefore, we should ban stoning.

Medicine kills.

Therefore, let us ban medications.

Alcohol kills in so many different ways.

Let us therefore ban alcohol. Maybe it’ll work this time.

Tobacco kills.

Therefore tobacco must be purged from the earth.

People commit suicide while jumping off tall buildings.

We need therefore to level all buildings over 2 stories.

Ladders can kill.

Perhaps we can allow step stools to remain.

Baby cribs can kill infants.

Therefore, we must ban cribs.

Toys can kill.

Therefore toys, especially toys for adults, must be banned.

Some men, such as Jovan Belcher and O.J. Simpson, kill women in acts of domestic abuse.

Do we therefore ban men?

Do we really want to do away with life and living?

Guns Kill, But So Does Everything Else

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