Happy Valentine’s Day

What to give? What to Give?

If you’re reading this blog late on Valentine’s Day, it’s too late.

Give your loved one something special, unique, personal, from the heart, or perhaps the kidney, to show you really understand and love him or her. If you can’t give a piece of your heart, then what about a kidney? Ron Spanier and Amy Anderson are engaged. She is donating a kidney to him. That is true love – much more than a paper valentine.

Valentine’s Day is a special day in which it’s not better to give than receive. This should be a day of equal giving and receiving.

Chocolates are nice, but they’re addictive and fattening, whether they’re from Godiva or Whitman Sampler. A red heart shaped box full of chocolates may be a big seller for CVS, but it lacks that special touch.

Overpriced roses are trite red.

How about dinner at an expense account restaurant with ambiance, a view, fire place, and fine wine?

If so, either kneel down on your knees, pull out the ring, and pop the question, or recognize that if you need this venue for romance, it’s either going nowhere or already dead.

Be wary of getting too involved with Cupid. He’s underaged and borders on kiddie porn. I prefer Eros myself.

Go back to the days of yesteryear, when the romance was blooming. A singing telegram would be nice.

Do not send Valentines from Ashley Madison or Craig’s List. A replay of the St. Valentine Day’s Massacre is too bloody to behold. If you personally croon, don't post it on YouTube unless you have a great book.

Try a corny personal poem, perhaps plagiarized from John Donne (only Ph. D’s will recognize it). Just don’t post it online.

Jewelry is always appreciated, but be wary of the priceless jewelry from Danbury Mint. It is truly priceless – as you learn when you try to resell it on EBay when the romance fades.

If you are a lothario, be careful to remember her name. A Hallmark Keepsake valentine doesn’t remember names.

Indulge your true love. What’s their thing – gardening, NASCAR, mud wrestling? Join them. It’s but a small sacrifice on your part, but a meaningful commitment.

Here are the two gifts that mean the most:

The most personal gift of love is free – just listen.

Give a meaningful gift – a weekend without the little ones.

Still perplexed? More to Iran or Malaysia; they have banned Valentine’s Day.