Boycott Arizona; There Shall Be No Arizona

Boycott Arizona: There Shall be no Arizona

Boycott Arizona; there is no Arizona

San Francisco is mounting a boycott of Arizona over the new immigration bill. The effort is led by Mayor Gavin Newson, who is seeking the Hispanic vote in the Democratic primary for Lieutenant Governor. Los Angeles Supervisor Janice Hahn is also supporting a boycott of Arizona. She too is seeking the Hispanic vote in the Democratic primary for Lieutenant Governor.

Let us ignore that San Francisco, as a sanctuary city, refused to turn over its illegal criminal immigrants to the INS for deportation, but instead deported its underaged, illegal immigrant, criminal minors to San Bernardino, California without informing San Bernardino officials.

Also on board is New York State Assemblyman Adam Clayton Powell IV, who is running against the ethically challenged incumbent Congressman Charles Rangel.

Let’s ignore the politics though, and just look at the dynamics.

The call has already gone out to boycott Arizona Tea. Unfortunately, the Arizona Tea was begot in the Arizona County of Kings (aka Brooklyn), New York, and is currently from Nassau County, New York out on the Island. The London Bridge on Lake Havasu won't get you to Long Island. Of course, a lot of New Yorkers have moved to Arizona, so we can boycott the Tea.

While we’re at it, we should also boycott Arizona Jeans, a private label sold by J.C. Penney.

No more rafting down the Colorado River. Now we can ride the rapids of the mighty Los Angeles River.

While we’re at it, let’s send the Colorado River water back to Arizona; that’ll really show them.

Forget the Rails on the Rim; ride instead Angels Flight.

Children and grandchildren now have an excuse not to visit their parents and grandparents in Sun City, Arizona.

Hands off the Pontiac Phoenix, Kia Sedona, and Hyundai Tucson.

Mexico would like to boycott Arizona, but then where could they export their poor?

Let us boycott, or dematriculate at the University of Phoenix.

Boycott major league baseball games when the Arizona Diamondbacks are the visiting team. So what if the visitors receive little revenue, you've made the point. In some major league stadiums, the attendance drop will be imperceptible.

But let's boycott the Dodger-Diamondback games, actually all Dodger games, at Chavez Ravine, and also atone for the displacement of the Hispanic residents who were displaced to make room for the New Yorkers by way of Brooklyn. That will put a major crimp in the cash flow of the cash strapped Dodgers, but more significantly in the highly public, entertaining and messy debacle of a divorce between the owner(s) McCourts, by way of Boston.

Cancel your subscription to Arizona Highways.

No more taking it easy in Winslow, Arizona with the Eagles.

Since anything with the name Arizona in it today is clearly unAmerican and unpatriotic, do not visit the U.S.S. Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor.

You may visit Hoover Dam, but only if you stay on the Nevada side. Remember though that President Hoover is a graduate of Stanford.

No more Grand Canyon and its pristine skies. Luxuriate in the smoggy cement canyons of downtown Los Angeles instead.

Ignore George Strait’s “Ocean front property in Arizona” and settle for the real beaches of Malibu, if you can access them.

And I will personally boycott USA Airways; we've always had bad karma.

But think of the biggest sacrifice of all. No more sex at Four Corners. Three Corners sex just doesn’t cut it.

There is no Arizona.