Tuesday, May 1, 2012

How Do You Know When You Have Become an Old Fogie?

How Do You Know You’ve Become an Old Fogie?

When does the Young Turk become the Old Fogie?

When does the old fogie overlap with the old fart?

Some of us Baby Boomers were talking the other day. The subject arose about when are you an old fogie.

These are signs:

When you have become the institutional memory

When the subtle shift from idealism to realism is complete

When you are comfortable with the status quo

When you used to put your children to bed every night and said “Thank you God,” but now every morning you wake up you say “Thank you God.”

When your adult children start listening to you

When you hear yourself referred to at a family gathering as the crazy uncle or the crusty curmudgeon

When you are close, but not yet, the old geezer

When one morning in bed when you wake up, and your beloved spouse says “You have a gray hair.”

When the race between graying and balding claims a victor

When the slow, inexorable weight gain catches up to you

When all your mentors and advisors have passed on, and you are now referred to as the Senior Statesman, the Elder Statesman, the Mentor, the Guru, the Expert, the Maestro.

When “emeritus” has a nice ring to it

When you have mastered the gentle art of compromise

When you are entitled to senior discounts at restaurants, theatres, and banks

When you are looked to for sage advice

When you go from trying to save the world and solve the world’s problems to instilling wisdom in the younger generation

When you take over 10 pills daily

When you are always the senior presenter

When someone politely asks “How are you doing?” and you respond with an extended medical discourse

When “Back in” becomes part of your vocabulary, as in “Back in my day” or “Back in the good old days”

When the movies and TV just aren’t what they used to be

When your 50th Reunion is looming

When your alma mater takes a keen interest in you

When you’re not yet in your dotage

What’s Skype?

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