Thursday, November 24, 2011

Huggies Dump on Santa

How do you distinguish your disposable diapers from the competition? – Huggies, Luvs, Pampers and private labels up the kazoo.

Go designer diapers. Add cachet to the little pooper catchers and throw in a noble cause for good measure.

Tis The Season to be Jolly with Santa diapers and wipes.

As Huggies advertised “Dress’em like Claus for a cause.”



Full of guilt

Tug on Santa’s white beard for a good cause (the donation of 17 million diapers to diaper banks).

Offset the guilt of filling our landfills with disposable, non-biodegradable diapers rather than reusing cloth diapers.

Rip’n Wrap is all so convenient.

Huggies does not actually say the diapers bear Santa’s image. Rather the ad shows a baby clad in red and white with a Santa cap and a matching red and white diaper. My initial impression though is of Santa diapers. It’s Santa’s diapers and wipes.

How jolly can Santa be when he must carry a load in his pants as well as on his back?

Think of the song: “Here comes Santa Claus; here comes Santa Claus, right down “Detritus Lane.”

Santa lands on the roof, climbs down the chimney, and expects a glass of milk and a plate of cookies. Instead, he gets a different gift from the little crapper. Mommy and Daddy deserve lumps of coal!

Santa distributes IPods, ITouches, Imacs, IPhones, and IPads, and gets “ICraps” in exchange.

Santa’s Little Helper has now become Santa’s Little Pooper. No more need for the Grinch to raise a stink in Santa’s Workshop. The Little Pooper serves the purpose.

Santa has to carry all those diaper gifts back to the elves for proper disposal.

Or Santa can scatter the scat over the Midwest to boost ethanol production without a permit from the EPA. The sprinkling of the fertilizer bomblets will throw off NORAD’s tracking system of Santa’s sleigh.

Parents at some stage in their children’s growth must face that painful, difficult talk. No, not the birds and bees. Your little one learnt that from the internet, but the painful conversation that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy do not exist.

Now you simply say that the reason you can pollute Santa’s diaper and wipe your bum with Santa’s baby wipes is that “Yes Virginia, there is no Santa.” Virginia already figured that one out.

How can any child believe in the existence of one they shat upon?

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