Father Times Drops By

My parents met during World War II, fell madly in love, married, conceived me, and then split like atoms.

6 ½ decades later Father Time has come forward to provide the paternal care I missed. He’s not the surrogate father I would have chosen. I'll rather be touched by an angel.

Father Time has the wisdom of ages. He approaches slowly, like a stealth bomber, and gently embraces you as the initial embrace becomes that of a boa constrictor. You don’t even recognize the initial embrace. A pound here, a pound there, a few kidney stones, you don't even realize it's father Time.

He will never let go – no divorce in this relationship; it’s for life. He grows on you.

Father Time has no respect for time since time is timeless. He visits 24/7, day, night, spring, summer, fall, and winter.

He’s clever all right. Some of his initial embraces mask other touchings, like those of a pickpocket.

He’s a doting father; he envelopes you, poking and probing, expressing interest in all your organs and muscles. Father Time has taken an especial interest in my legs and lungs. He’s left calling cards for the eyes and ears.

He doesn’t fool the doctors for long, but he has millions of tricks in his bag. And he mutates as quickly as insects. He’s clever all right. He grasps you, but you can’t get a handle on him.

You can accommodate him, but not forever for his grasp always tightens and expands.
I’m on a first name basis with Kaiser’s doctors and nurses, but Father Time has no first name.

Think of that; Father Time is known by no first name, or indeed, any other name.
Santa Claus is Saint Nicholas, St. Nick, Kris Kringle, Santa, and Father Christmas.
The devil is Satan, the demon, Lucifer, and the Dark Lord.

The man whose name shall not be mentioned is Tom Riddle, Lord Voldemort, the Dark Lord, and “He-who-must-not-be-named.”

But Father Time is simply Father Time.

Not even Fr. Time, for he is far from being the friendly, genial, helpful parish priest.

We allude to “senior moments,” but not all senior moments are related to Father Time.

Oh, he’s crafty. The greatest doctors and hospitals cannot defeat him; he toys with them on his time. Even the doctors ultimately meet him face to face.

No more rushing to the front, or exiting quickly, for Father Time marches to his own time.

He loves Medicare and Medicaid for they feed him.