Monday, November 29, 2010

You Know You're Aging When

Newspapers were the source of news

Berkeley was the greatest university in the world

Downtown was for working, shopping and movies

Auto Row was where you bought cars

He’s from the government and he’s here to help us

Alfred E. Newman was political protest

What me worry?

Playboy was illuminating

Doctors made house calls

California was the Golden State

Penicillin cured all VD’s

Advil doesn’t cure all pain

“Look, but don’t touch” became “Look, but can’t touch”

Polio was the dreaded disease

Boy Scouts were known for their Jamborees

Walter Cronkite was the news

Johnny Carson was the man

John Wayne was the man

Bob Hope was the man

Folk Music ruled

Actors could act and musicians sing

Kirk Douglas and Charlton Heston were the action heroes

Comedies were Abbott and Costello, Laurel and Hardy, Ma and Pa Kettle, and Francis the Talking Mule

Cartoons were Road Runner, Casper the Friendly Ghost, Popeye the Sailor Man, Looney Toons, Merrie Melodies, and Mickey Mouse

What’s up Doc?

Theatres offered Saturday afternoon double bills

Family shows were Ozzie and Harriet and Leave it to Beaver,

Dragnet was the police show

Maverick and Ponderosa led the oaters

I Love Lucy, the Jackie Gleason Show, Groucho Marx, Red Skelton, and George Burns and Gracie Allen were the comedies

Dr. Kildaire and Marcus Welby, M.D. taught you medicine

Perry Mason was your law professor

Ted Mack Amateur Hour and the Ed Sullivan Show
Your favorite animals are Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, Trigger, and Cheeta

The great coaches were Vince Lombardi, Red Auerbach, Abe Ruff, John Wooden, Knute Rockne, Bud Wilkinson, Ara Parseghian, John McKay, Bear Bryant, Darrell Royal, and Woody Hayes

The 4 major bowl games were the Rose, Orange, Sugar, and Cotton


USC-Notre Dame

USF was a basketball power

Toys were Tinker Toys, Lincoln Logs, and A.C. Gilbert’s Erector Sets, chemistry sets, and American Flyer Trains

Polaroid and Xerox were the great inventions

Punch cards ran computers

The Graduate and plastics

Speedy Alka-Seltzer and Chiquita Banana

Burma Shave

Andy Granatelli and STP

Avis tried harder

Kodak was photography, Singer sewing machines, IBM computers, Kodak photography, Schwinn bicycles, and Hoover vacuum cleaners

Airlines marketed stewardesses a sex symbols

3 in 1 Oil was the magic oil

The Marlboro Man rose high

Cigarette smoking was cool

Flick my Bic

PE was K-12

The Big Three were Chevy, Ford, and Plymouth

Muscle cars were in

Daddy drove station wagons

Detroit was 2 million people

As General Motors goes, so goes the country

GM’s Motorama

Motherhood, apple pie, the American Flag, and Chevrolet

Plan B, and not Medicare B, was the B

The inside word was antidisestablishmentarianism

Your first gray hair emerges

You are learning new medical suffices:



You looked at the Comics and Sports Before the Obits

I can’t hear you.

Those were the days.

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