Trapezius Through Airports

First comes the melee. The hordes arrive at the same time from Ubers, Lyfts, Cabs, Cars, shuttles and mass transit. Which terminal when more than one with the same airline? Which airline? Which counter? Plebian or elite? Baggage drop only? Confusion at airport checkin with line cutters Long lines with a customer just wanting to gab with the agent while the lines are growing. My bags don’t exceed the limits! Then comes the TSA funnel. Sorting process at TSA What was left behind? Sir, you cannot bring a knife on the plane. Will the person who left a bag behind at TSA please return? The long corridor. College students wearing their school colors. Does she really go to Yale? Strutting service dogs pulling their masters along for a ride Young adults with headphones while texting on a phone, oblivious to the world around them A mother with two young children charging through the masses – cannot miss that flight. Line cutters at the gate. Obnoxious The Ohio State University alums when the Buckeyes beat Michigan or win a title. Only more arrogant are the Michigan alums, of which I am one, when they beat TOSU or win a national title, football, basketball. Bars for the travelers who don’t want to eat on a dry throat, tacky gift shops selling overpriced trinkets and snacks, pretentious restaurants at Disneyland prices. Line cutters Screaming cell phone calls Toddlers and babies being very quiet – a pleasant surprise Men wearing hats to hide baldness The prima donna showing off her plastic surgery Tattoo collections An elevator with 14 wheelchairs lined up Very few businessmen in Brooks Brothers dark suits or businesswomen in Nordstrom grey suits. They must be on Southwest Lines trying to get into crowded airline lounges The Plane An oversized male attempting to jam an oversized bag into an undersized overhead compartment How can two passengers be assigned the same seat? All first class have checked in Long queues at gates with exotic destinations: Paris, London, Tokyo, Seoul, Hong Kong, Delhi, Istanbul, Singapore. Who are these travelers?? Are they returning home, going on business, visiting family, just traveling, or perhaps connecting to a more exotic place, such as Zanzibar or Tashkent? Why am I just flying to Podunk?