Wednesday, January 2, 2019
Humor and Oddities of 2018
Somewhere between 40-60 are nibbling at running for President in 2020. Senator Elizabeth Warren discovered her Indian DNA (sorta), opened an exploratory Committee for the Presidency, and chugged a beer to identify with the Millennials. Congressman Beto, Robert Francis, O’Rourke is the media’s chosen heartache for the Presidency in 2020. Beto just lost a Senatorial race. But then again, so did Abraham Lincoln. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez won a primary for Congress with a total of 16,000 votes and is now the prima donna of the young Democrats, but Nancy Pelosi clearly remains the Speaker of the House. She is the queen. Did the Representative really graduate third in her class at Boston University? Just asking! The ethically charged Michael Avenatti, labeled the “porn attorney” for representing the porn thespian Stormy Daniels, stretched his 15 minutes of fame, but has dropped out of the 2020 presidential election. Florida once again messed up a vote count in Broward and Palm Beach counties. The courts did not get involved. Speaking of Florida – A monkey jumped on a Pasco, Florida man’s chest during his arrest for grand theft auto. Disneyworld banned a man from the Disney parks because he held up a “Trump 2020” on Splash Mountain. To the best of my knowledge, they have not banned young women who have flashed their beats on “Flash” Mountain. A women’s march proposed for Humboldt County on January 19, 2019 was cancelled in 2018 because the marchers would overwhelmingly be white! The county is 74% white. I thought Republicans could hold onto 2 of their 4 Orange County Congressional seats. I was wrong; the Democrats won them all, and joined Colorado, Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Nevada, New Mexico, and New York as one party Blue States. Witches have objected to President Trump referring to the Mueller Investigation as a witch-hunt. The once popular, conservative Weekly Standard, heart of the Republican Never Trumpers, shut down in December. The kicker is that while several democrats are visiting Iowa and New Hampshire during the winter, but California has advanced the date of its primary. President/dictator Recep Erdogan, who has imprisoned hundreds of journalists, shuttered newspapers, limits access to the world wide web, and jailed tens of thousands of citizen, and is killing Kurds emerged as the hero in the brutal murder of Jamal Khashoggi in the Saudi Arabian consulate in Istanbul. Go figure. Erdogan is very smart. The world is on a Jihad against plastic straws. The Los Angeles Rams (12-3) and Los Angeles Charges (12-4) have a better record than the New England Patriots (11-5) Philadelphia won the Super Bowl, and barely made it into the playoffs this year. Urban Meyer and Ohio State football had another ethics scandal. Ex-coach Meyer has been appointed Assistant Athletic Director at Ohio State and is co-teaching a class in character and leadership at Ohio State’s Fisher College of Business. It remains me of a great accounting Professor, Joseph Peter Simini, at USF. He said take his course in auditing. He believed that to catch a crook should learn how to be a crook. He would provide 25 case lessons in corporate cheating. He outdid himself with about 50. Urban Meyer has much to draw upon between The Ohio State University football team, his Florida Gators teams, and perhaps the SEC. Both Coach Meyer and Michigan’s Jim Harbaugh are sons of Ohio. They were born 7 months apart in the same Toledo hospital. Michigan once again lost the last games of the season, but did surpass my expectations for the team. An eagle landed on the arm of a fan during the National Anthem in the Cotton Bowl. Is Alabama again playing Clemson (ACC) for the national title? The disgraced basketball coach Rick Pitino is now coaching basketball in Greece. He won’t have to worry about player recruiting and academics. Sister Jean Delores of Loyola Chicago was the star of the NCAA final. She even became the recipient of the Sister Jean bobblehead doll. Loyola lost, but Villanova, another Catholic University, won. Sadly, Michigan came in second. Sears, where America used to shop, is quickly liquidating itself into oblivion along with Kmart. Will Toys r’ Us, founded in 1948 in New Jersey by Charles Lazarus, emphasis on the word Lazarus, which collapsed in the summer, rise from the dead? Detroit is pulling the plug on sedans. Ford will be down to the Mustang. The Japanese and Koreans are doing very well with sedans. A score of cane toads in Australia were filmed trying to hump a python. Two Non-humorous Comments on 2018 The War on Cops is escalating with 144 killed in the line of duty in 2018, up 12% from 2017. 52 were killed by guns, up from 46 in 2017. The Nation’s homeless problem, most pronounced in West Coast cities, is rapidly becoming a modern American tragedy with no easy answer.