An Irreverent Look at the 2016 Presidential Election

Governor John Kasich campaigned in the New York Primary by eating New York Pizza with a fork. Senator Cruz rues New York values. Politics makes strange bedfellows but the Cruz-Kasich cabal sounds like a dud cruise missile. The new Trump sounds like the old trump, just as the New Nixon echoed the Old Nixon and the new Dukakis was the same as the old Dukakis. Is Donald trump running for President? Or is it Don Rickles? Donald Trump is the most Democratic of the 17 original Republican candidates, but he may be the last Republican standing. Donald Trump is appealing to the lower income, less educated voters, but Senator Sanders accuses the poor of not voting. Senator Sanders, the attacker of the rich and corporations of not paying their fair share, but he and his wife had taxable income in 2014 of $20,5271, but paid only $27,653 in federal taxes, a tax rate of 13.5%. He falls in the top 5% of income earners in the United States. He’s not paying his fair share. The Democrats are running two senior citizens for President. The Republicans running as the New Ronald Reagan are violating Reagan’s 11th Commandment: “Thou shalt not speak ill of a fellow Republican.” Charles Koch, of the Koch Brothers, finds it repugnant. Senator Rubio alluded to Donald Trump’s penis size, of which he presumably had no personal knowledge. Donald Trump has been making nice with Megyn Kelley. Governor Chris Christy made nice with Donald Trump, but looked like a hostage suffering from the Stockholm Syndrome. Rudy Giuliani voted for Donald Trump, supports Donald Trump, but will not endorse him - a distinction only a lawyer can understand. Donald Trump, the consummate New Yorker, has embraced New England’s Tom Brady. He’s probably eyeing the QB’s foreign-born model wife. Donald Trump, supposedly the richest candidate in the race, has spent the least money of the five remaining candidates. Secretary Clinton has been running on gun control against Senator Sanders in the primaries, but knows it is a loser in the general election. Senator Cruz is running as everyone’s second choice. His wife, Heidi, is an investment manager at Goldman Sachs. Too bad she can’t release a recording of Secretary Clinton’s 20 minute, $250,000 speeches at Goldman Sachs. Secretary Clinton won’t release the Goldman Sachs transcripts and Donald Trump his tax returns. Secretary Clinton is the only Presidential candidate investigated by 100 FBI agents. Donald Trump and Secretary Clinton are their parties’ front runners, in unfavorability ratings exceeding 50%. California matters this year!