A plague of despair, the malaise of the Carter, descended upon the land of Americus.
Who wilt rid us of the Bushies?
There arose around the land of Americus a cry to rid the land of the Bushies, a cry of despair, a hope for renewal.
And from the great, wind blown plains of the Illini camest a Pied Piper known as the Obama with his magical TOTUS and glorious chords.
False Pipers had shown themselves in the past, The Al of Gore and the Dukakis and Kerry of Mass, and the Rowdy Roddy Piper.
The Obama is the true piper for he hath proveth himselfe by besting the august Lady Hillary of York, the Edwards of Lust, and the Palin of McCain.
This is the true Piper, the worldly Pied Piper, the Pied Piper of Obama.
And then the promises
The promise to be the agent of change, change to believe in
The promise to give everyone jobs
The promises to rid the land of pesky middle class taxes and to taxe only thy riche
The promise to purge the land of the Bushies
The promise to restore faith at the Bank of the Wall and the Broadway
The promise of reconciliation
The promise to be post-racial
The promise to getmo out of the GITMO
The promise of health care for all
The promise that children need not grow up until they reach 27
The promise to please and appease, to embrace our enemies and smite our allies
The promise to unite the people
The promise to cap and trade
The promise of card check and net neutrality, of which the people knew little, but the tune was exalting
And amnesty for all those who could not prove they were of the Americus.
And he shall be the fairest of all pipers, to take from the takers and giveth to the givees, and they shall be nonest the wisest.
And he shall askest nought, and tellest less.
And he shall hear the voices of the multitudes, the underepresented, the underclass, the downtrodden, the weak, the minority for he is of them.
He will be post-partisan, post-racial, and post traumatic stress syndrome, but he durst not post the GPA, SAT or LSAT. He is not of the blood, but he is of the affirmative.
Yes, he shall free the people. Follow, and he shall set thee free.
The promises, verily, but the music, oh the music. The soaring rhetoric, the inspirational psalms, the beauty of the phrases. It was truly the Obama, not TOTUS, who moved the people. A gift, a true gift, the true voice of the New Millennium – the Americus Idol.
And the people rejoiced.
And he purged the land of the Bushies, but saved a Gate.
And he freed the Gitmos, or so he thought.
And he nationalized the student loans.
And he brought reconciliation.
And what a siren tune the Piper played.
He served a sweet wine with elixir of euphoria.
He appealed to the Americus of all hues and shades. From the churches, the bells rang and the choirs cried out "Yes he can. Yes we can" and “Hallelujahs.”
A rainbow of green and red LED the way.
He sold the Senators a seductive siren song of Stimulus.
And he bestowed The Barons of the House with hosannas, honors, pork and forgiveness of their sins, the sins of the Mollohan and the Rangel, and the Golden Caucus to Joe of Hartford, but not Joe the Plumber?
And the lords of the manor were willing for they were the children of the 60’s between exiles. They knew they must not fail for theirs is not the voice or will of the people, but of the exiles with their day in the sun, blinded by a tenuous majority.
Oh how he played the lords with his chords.
And he forgavest the taxes of his most loyal vassals. Lord Geithner was charged with the fisc and the IRS for he understoodest not the turbotax, and could forgive the 276,300 Americus workers and retirees who are in arrears on $3,042,000 for their 2008 taxes.
And he cashiered the cashiers of the banks
And the high Hoyer hosted the Holy Grail of Health Reform
He, The Piper said to follow him along the little green road, the true path, to the jobs. He marked it with little acorns. Pebbles, pithals, pixels, tea bags and a Brown stone had no effect on the music of the spheres.
No more of the right or the left, for he, and only he, would show the true way.
He could beseech and besmirch, but the kaleidoscope of the rainbow was blinding.
The path wove true through the reeds of Reid, the mirth of Murtha, the lands of Landrieu, the Baucus Bog, the Dodd Debacle, Kent's Land Bank, Pelosi's spells, and viagra of pedophiles.
Naysayers were drowned out by the magical chords. El Rushbo, the Hannity sans Coombs, the Morris and the Rove, and the Marks all experienced the Cassandra. The media of the masses could only hear the Piper. To the rest were the sounds of silence.
They said we know all so little of this Piper. We know but nought of his years at Oxy and Columbia, and some darest question even if he is of Americus, but rather of the tribe of Amerikenyan.
The Bart of Stupak followed the true path, came to the cliffs, looked down into the abyss, and tried to abort. Alas, it was too late for he had drunkest the Koolest-Aide.
And he SEIU’d the naysayers in St. Louie.
He dispatched his major domo, the Rahm of Emanuel, to smite in the locker room the apostate Master Massa of the Tickles. Oh what a sight!
And the Bayh took a bye, but voted in the aye.
And the children, the trusting children under 27. There are no jobs at the end of the little green road, much less a Bryan’s Cross of Gold - just children burdened with trillions of debt on their backs as the cliffs await
The warnings were there; the Reverends Wright and Pfleger, and the domestic terrorists Ayres and Dohrn. The Piper’s fair wife, the Michelle of Robinson, had stated “For the first time in my adult life I am proud of my country because it feels like hope is making a comeback.”
But the Clinton and the Huckabee are from Hope.
The Karl of Marx once proclaimed that religion “is the opium of the masses” and the Piper himself at a foggy Frisco rally dropped his mask for just a second: “So it’s not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”
He knew though; he would led them the right way; he knew the way, and he would transform Americus.
He would transform the people from those of the Reagan to those of the Obama. He has seen the future, and it is but of the past. He would transform the Americus into the Rumsfeldian Europe of olde, the statist Europe. All this he knew, and they did follow the music.
The Pied Piper of Americus is a transformative Piper; he carest not about the fate of his liege for he will show the true path to those of the Americus. A new Americus, transformed before our very eyes.
Verily, veritas, for he is the one true way, yes he can and did, that is the truth
And he has united the people for he hast led the Democrats over the cliffs. That too is the truth.