The New York Times had a big article on Wednesday, March 3, 2010 featuring the new red meat; lean, mean, trim, green menu of cheap rabbit.
Yes, the Easter Bunny, Bunnykins, Peter Rabbit, Peter Cottontail, Br’er Rabbit, the Brown Bunny and the White Rabbit, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, Flopsy and Mopsy, Thumper, the Velveteen Rabbit are on the menu. Miffy and Uncle Wiggily are fair game, but not the Playboy bunny. We can have the March Hare in April for Easter.
No big deal; we’ve always eaten our chocolate bunnies.
Americans have joined the French in discovering the delicacy. We too can have a meal of escargot, frog legs, and hare.
We now ask: “Who fried Roger Rabbit?” Was it Jessica?
Remember Bugs Bunny’s famous line “What’s up Doc?” Now we know. It’s Bugs. Join Elmer Fudd in hunting the wabbit in Toon Town, guided by the Energizer Bunny.
Rabbits are good enough for coyotes, wolves, leopards, cheetahs, lynx, and birds of prey. Why not humans?
The tortoise or the hare? Doesn’t matter, they both end up in the soup.
No need to stew over rabbit stew. You can order rabbit any way you want, except “rare,” because rabbits are too prolific to be rare.
Pate of rabbit sounds much classier than butchering Flopsy and Mopsy.
Other possibilities include rabbit pot pie, rabbit legs, rabbit burgers, boiled, broiled and roasted rabbit, crispy rabbit, hot bunny dogs, rabbit bone soup, stir fried and freeze dried bunny, marinated hare, minced Miffy, rabbit kabob, rabbit sticks, skewered and stewed rabbit, fricasseed rabbit, tureen of rabbit, a footlong Subway hare sandwich for $5.00 and Campbell’s Instant Rabbit Noodle Soup. Bunnykins are for dessert.
Discriminating tastes go for the arctic and snowshoe hares.
Those of us bored by the rubber chicken circuit can now traverse the rubber bunny circuit.
Rabbit food is inexpensive, a major selling feature during a time of food inflation. Just throw a pair of rabbits in the back yard on a bed of grass, and watch them breed like rats. Feed them natural grass, and you have organic rabbit. Hare today and gone to market.
Now that we have banned fatty sodas from our schools, we can replace them with non-fatty rabbits.
As children, we always carried our lucky rabbit foot, but never worried about the unlucky Oswald who parted with it.
We wear leather jackets, alligator boots, leopard skin pill box hats, mink coats, and hang up sheepskin diplomas.
We eat cows, deers, goats, moose, mules, pigs, sheep,chicken, ducks, geese and turkey. Some societies view dog as a delicacy, others eat chimpanzees and gorillas, and some Shakespeare's strange flesh. In short, the menu includes Mrs. O'Leary's cow, Fernando the Bull and perhaps Bevo, Bambi, BillyGoat, Bullwinkle, Porky Pig, Mary's little lamb, Chicken Little, Daffy Duck, Mother Goose, Tom the Turkey, Goofy, Cheeta and Bonzo, but not Thumper.
Our diet can include Bison Burgers, cow's brain, fowl (that says it all), haagis, insects, Leg of lamb, liver(a veritable reservoir of toxins), mutton, pork tenderloin, rack of lamb, rattlesnake, raw eggs, shark fin soup, spare ribs, tongue, Sushi, veal, whale meat, and worms. Don't ask what's in hot dogs, sausage, and anything named wurst, but the White Rabbit is off limits.
We bake clams, boil crabs, luau pigs, potluck meals, tailgate beer and ?, spike punch, stuff turkeys while giving thanks, and swallow goldfish, but we simply will not go down the rabbit hole.