Friday, June 20, 2008

The GITMO Circus is Coming to Town

Children of all ages,

Justice Anthony Kennedy welcomes you to the greatest show on earth, the GITMO Circus.

Get your peanuts, crackerjacks, cotton candy, and bear nuts.

Souvenirs and programs

For souvenirs, we have unexploded IED’s, AK 47’s, RPG’s, suicide belts, and fake passports

On the program, straight from the capital punishment cases, the paralysis of the judicial system and endless litigation

Interlocutory interrogatories

Motions in limine

Verbose briefs

Summary judgments

Bills of attainder

Corruption of blood

Generals genuflecting before Congress

Interminable delays

Watch for our flying warrants

Thrill, Ladies and Gentlemen, yes, thrill to the artistry of clueless clerks as they navigate uncharted waters, steering between the treacherous shoals of Shia and Sunni

Thrill, Ladies and Gentlemen, to an all new extravaganza this year, The Discovery Wars, as only pettifogging lawyers can perform

Yes, yes, res ipsa loquiter and non curat de minimis lex

Watch the subpoena duces tecum and the trespass de bonis asportatis and yes, even more, the bonus trespass quare clausum fregit

On the left we have Elgar and his dancing depos.

On the right is the renowned Madame Zinger from Damascus and her performing dogma.

In the center ring, we have Lazlo the Great wrestling with the constitutional conundrum

Up, up and away, in a hot air balloon, we have the soaring Soros.

Time for fun and frolic

And now, fired from the left ring to the target in the right ring, Abdul the suicide bomber, with his suicide belt full of nails, all the better to kill innocent women and children.

Thank you, thank you,

On the left, we have the precedent denying, scintillating Supremes

A thrill a moment
The grace and beauty
Slick Willie and the Whirling Dervish

Up in the trapeze, the high wire act of the Fantastic SCOTUS, on a blind leap of faith into the abyss of Dickens’ Bleak House.

And in the center ring, watch the death defying valor of our heroic marines. They never know if they’ll be shot at or prosecuted as they defend our rights without a safety net or security blanket in a veritable desert of ever changing and always narrowing rules of engagement.

Ladies and Gentlemen, check the obviating bravado of pusillanimous politicos

And now, send in the clowns, led by the Blind Sheik and his merry masters of martyrdom, the murderous mullahs.

See their boisterous buffoonery, the prestidigitation of practitioners, with their writs of error coram nobis

Yes, bring in the clowns,

The apostles of appeasement

The baying donkeys

The cavorting counsels

The harassing habeas

The Jumping Jihadist

The litigious litigants

The masters of plastique

The mendacious mendicants

The pontificating pundits

The sultans of subpoenas

The Tribulating Trial Lawyers

Ladies and Gentlemen, Right in front of your own eyes, the Grande Finale, Watch the company pass in review and the implosion of the American legal system.

We salute the UN.

And as we release 300 doves of peace, we say thank you and goodbye

(With thanks to London Phase4 recording of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus)

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